A change will do you good

I need some changes! Ever had it where life has gone stale? You're sick of staying put but at the same time you have no idea where you want to go or what you want to do when you finally get there. I don't know how I got into this god-awful rut but I'm ready for change.
Shane's not having much luck this far with the trucking companies which is disconcerting. He came home from an interview today and was pretty upset because he did the interview and road test without any issues but told him ultimately he didn't have enough experience! (and this is not an uncommon response.. like how the heck are you supposed to get experience when no one will hire you because of that exact problem? STUPID) On the up note he did get a job in a restaurant as a line cook (he went to chef school and whole nine yards.. the boy's got skills) And it helps he's getting major hours but he's miserable and driving me bonkers with his bad and negative attitude. (just suck it up and get it done! jeez)

I have an appointment tomorrow with the dietitian and I already know she's going to have a field day with the weeks worth of meals, food and beverages I had to write down. (I have a slurpee fetish this summer... can't get enough of the damn things)
I think the two pounds I've lost lately is just sweating lol this place is a sauna in the summer.

I'm getting ready to start going back to work.. and more than likely off to college cause I can't see Shane pulling us out of this rut tho it'll mean the end of ttc'ing cause I'm not going to kill myself getting a college education and new career only to get knocked up at the end of it. It saddens me but at the same time I had a feeling awhile ago that this would be the end result. I love the man dearly but he's just not seemingly able to pull through financially. And I've always been a strong driven person that isn't satisfied with mediorce results or worse.. failure.

Aside from all this I think I will compile a list of things to accomplish, kinda like the 101 things list I had before accidentally deleting all my blog posts. Only shorter and more realistic for what I hope to accomplish in the next 2 years.

Hot so very very HOT!

Is it just me or this summer extraordinarily hot and humid? I swear I now know what a pot roast feels like in the crock pot... the temps have been spiking 35 degrees C (about 96 F) with the humidex values in 40's! I'm beginning to wonder considering the amount of temporary power shortages some cities are experiencing if we're in for another infamous black out like in 2003 (or was it 2004?) considering every one's jacking up the a/c and so on? Cause I remember that happening a couple of weeks before we were out for several days through out the north-east quad of N. America.
lol maybe I'll have a preggy belly like the bumper crop that came out of the last blackout.. ya never know. (gotta look at the positive in that whole mess)

We've been busy here which may be why I've been so lax at blogging. Shane started getting phone calls looking to see if he was still in long-hauling and if he could do a road evalution to assure companies he's ready willing and able (which he is) so I've been helping get his resume, cover letter etc together and getting lists of companies that are again hiring. (amazing how fast some industries bounce back from recessions tho it was one of hardest hit when the recession came so I'm glad it's finally recovering) keep your fingers crossed for us!

ok my computer is starting to act up.. probably overheating as our apartment is becoming a huge bake oven. Will try to post more often : )

The Crossroads

I have so many questions floating in my head these days. And I've been here before. Welcome to the crossroads! Lots of unanswered questions, lots of debating and inner conflict or restlessness. You know you're going to go forward cause lets face it, life may kick you in the ass but it inevitably kicks you forward whether you want to or not. In my case it's a want. I just don't really know where I'm going or what I want to do. I have a huge list of things I want to accomplish. And I tend to go after what I want with an almost tunnel-visioned approach (I generally achieve my goals and if I don't there's a damn good reason as to why I didn't) I guess it's just a matter of figuring out what I want to do first and step it out.

These days I look in the mirror and I don't really recognize the woman starring back me. I used to know that person and knew exactly who and what she wanted in life. And nothing was going to stop her. And now... I know she's there, but definitely not the same person she was 3 years ago pre-injury. My list changed drastically and my goals along with it. Some things that were a priority dropped completely and other things that were never even a consideration is now on the list. Funny how life goes!

Lost all my blog posts.. how'de I do that??

Ok I have no idea which button I pushed to make all those posts disappear (and I've spent a day or two trying to figure it out.. guess they're gone. But I'm a big believer in fate and signs, I guess this was one that it's time to wipe the slate clean and start anew. (not a bad sign) Tho I don't have my 101 things to do list anymore and I never bothered to write them out anywhere's other than here so I guess I'll have to start another one or a smaller one lol I think my blog had become way too negative anyways so probably for the best the blog posts are lost or gone.. I'll try to keep it more upbeat in the future.

IN health news: I go to see the dietitian next month (yea!!) I finally found one that's covered (most are private and cost an arm and a leg) so hopefully she can steer me on to a better track. I don't have a great track record with healthy eatting and portion control (not to mention what seems healthy one day is bad for you the next so a little diet debunking would be nice) And I definitely need to get back to the exercise part of my life.. seems every time I get really sick or something negative happens in our lives I crumble and get demodivated very quickly and that's definitely something I need to just keep working on.
I'm thinking with the fact I haven't had a pain killer in over 3 weeks now (and had some major head pain when bad storms rolled through the area) I'm doing pretty good. I don't miss them except when the pain gets bad. But I couldn't go taking them forever even tho those migraines may never stop now.

I'm doing good with the volunteering although I find it rather boring and unprogressive. I suppose because they get so many students doing their college co-ops there they really don't have a need for someone like me who's only just trying to figure out her next step (I'm thinking college but I want to make sure I know what I want to do before I start investing time and money to go forward with it) And it really doesn't look like I'll be able to get the gov't help I was hoping for to help financially to move ahead with things so I may have to break down and try to find something part time in the meanwhile if things keep going they way they are now.

Well my dryer just went off so I'm off to do more cleaning.. lol seems my Sundays are always cleaning and laundry lol