OK so much for trying to improve on blogging LOL Admittedly there were reasons but wow amazing how fast time can fly with it. What's been going on.. let's see. Hmm... well first off we had to say goodbye to my furr-baby Garfield in April. He was 15 yrs old and started to suffer from a gradual shut down of his renal system so I had to have him put down rather than watch him suffer. I still miss him. He was part kitty part nurse I swear.. any time I got sick, hurt or had surgery he wouldn't leave my side. He also won over my fiance (who was a huge cat hater when I met him) We threw in the towel on fertility issues. Partly due to money issues but also because I now am facing bariatric surgery this fall. I still have PCOS which seems to be worsening over time and making weight loss even more a struggle. The RE kept refusing to treat me unless I lost a pile of weight (yea easier said than done) And then mentioned I should look into a bariatric centre for help. And then went on to say that she's had a few patients go through the surgery.. loose alot of weight and after a couple years come back without PCOS and get pregnant very easily. We'll see I guess if we have the same luck. Gastric by-pass surgery: after struggling with my weight for the past 20 years. I don't think of it as an easy way out but after watching an aunt die of cancer (which her weight did play a role) and 2 other aunts now dealing with serious health issues due to obesity. It's scary and I don't want to end up where they are. Not to mention the fertility issues. I go end of August to see centre (after months and months of waiting on a registary and going through tests to just qualify to get to this point) I go for orientation and I guess they tell me from there what other hoops I gotta jump through (tho physically lets hope they don't actually make me jump a hoop.. wouldn't shock me tho if they did at this point) and what specialists I have to see prior and post surgery. Not to mention what to expect. The risks and rewards I guess you could say. My fiance's cousin did the surgery several years ago and she even said it has some definite down sides.. it's also a what you make of it, small meals, suppliments and exercise I guess are going to be in my future if I want to it a successful new start in life. How are my fiance and I doing and what's going on with our wedding!! Hmm well we hit a very rough and rocky patch in our relationship.. next week we'll have been together 10 years (that's 4 years more than my last marriage lol) and hoping things will improve to strengthen rather than break our relationship. I think the fact I've been unable to get a job has really made things hard on him and rough between us. Money struggles suck. BIG TIME. And unfortunately it seems to be effecting him alot lately. His brother got married last year and since then he's been moody and miserable. Maybe cause we got engaged before them and he wanted us to be married first (some kind of warped sibling rivalary? midlife crisis? frustration at our current situation and the relationship is the fall out? I don't know but I'm starting to get to my wits end on it) I had planned a inexpensive wedding out of town at a resort up north.. would have been gorgeous, intimate and just the kind of thing that I love.. wedding lake side.. and then just as I was getting ready to book the wedding.. my fiance brought to a grinding holt and since then there's been some resentment and anger going between us. I am hoping things get better between us but I don't know at this point. I'm trying to focas on other things since he said he wanted EVERYTHING to change before we got married. Ok honey.. you want changes you get them. But change has got to go both ways and so far I'm not seeing anything change on his end. Not one thing.. apparently he thinks all changes are required on my end and our collective situation. Pfft!! MEN!! At any rate I should run but at least I've finally getting back to "the blog" lol

Don't know why

I came on today only to realize my blog was deleted! guess I blog so infrequently at times that it closed down. Weird.

Anyhoo.. well I'm 6 lbs down so far on my exercise/ weight loss journey. I've been at it for 21/2 weeks so I think that's pretty good. I've noticed my pants are fitting a little looser and I'm feeling stronger. My fiance remarked Friday I seem to have more energy. I definitely have lit the fire under my ass that's for sure. I've worked up to 40 min cardio and 30+ minutes of muscle work at least 3 times a week so far.. hoping to bump up to 4 days shortly,
And wouldn't you know AF suddenly made a return visit for the first time in quite awhile. (along with some major cramps..ouch!) but good seeing how I see the RE in less than 2 weeks. Here's to hoping for more positive changes coming soon.
I'll have to add a weight loss ticker here.. and a wedding ticker soon too. Yes we finally are trying to set a date for our wedding.. YEA!! looking at late next spring. *happy dance*

I'm a self professed bad blogger LOL

Amazing how time gets away from you! And yep my blog has once again fallen to the side along with it. I haven't blogged since November so lets see if I can do a catch up on all the the goings-on.
Our birthdays in December and Chistmas/ New Years was a huge bomb. I was sick and so dead tired it was awful for the first two weeks of December.. then Shane caught it and that killed the last two weeks. We literally did nothing for that entire month but be sick! In the meanwhile my future bil and his girlfriend got engagement on Christmas Day. It was a little weird on the timing considering my fiance proposed Christmas Eve last year. And his parents acted very differently to our engagement compared to theirs. Our's.. they were less than thrilled. We came over Christmas Day and all they could say was oh.. well that's nice. (and his dad could barely crack a smile) Theirs.. huge excitement. Screaming.. jumping up and down and champagne all around. (which I don't get considering they rarely call unless they want something and generally look down their noses at everyone and we're always doing favors and helping out and general are around and are pretty down to earth.. money and status don't impress me much)
At anyrate long story short.. we finally started seeing his parents in a different light and over time they're going to start seeing how we're not to be helping out or are around as much as we used to be.
So here came the new year and now I'm listening to bil's new fiance boast and brag on getting married this year and how big and beautiful a wedding they're going to have and how she's going to loose all this weight (and then she threw down a gauntlet she's yet to realize was picked up.. more on that later) And basically making me want to throttle her every time I'm around her. What can I say.. she's always boasting she's a huge bitch blah blah blah.. and always wants to one up everyone, including me which drives me batty cause I really don't like her at all to begin with so why would I care what she does.. until she decided to make it personal.
Ok so here's the gauntlet.. basically while she gave me a christmas present (belately cause of all the sickness in December) they gave me two nice tops.. and then she shits on the gesture by saying she has a hard time finding the biggest sizes and that I dress so "colourfully" that she didn't want to get me something that is "normal" And believe me she wasn't trying to be nice when she said it. I said basically nothing after that while she went on bragging about her new personal trainer and the small amount of weight she's lost off her fat ass. While I tried to not snarl at her. I thought you Bitch! you know what? I'm going to toss this weight and look far better than you on your damn wedding day! You want a fight lady you got one.. and I hit the gym the next day. Now I do have other reasons for loosing this weight.. namely I'm tired of being overweight, I want to have energy and be healthier and stronger and also I want to get my body ready cause I finally got an RE appt next month (hang on to your hats.. I'm going back to the fertlity clinic!) but mostly every damn time that idiot opens her big mouth I want her to know I'm doing kicking her fat ass every step of the way. She has no idea the kind of enemy she just made. So I've lost 5 lbs so far in a less than 2 weeks. I figure I'll not tell anyone on that side of the family and my fiance has promised to keep his mouth shut about this weight loss gauntlet I'm on. It's funny.. I want to healthy and sexy for my wedding/ honeymoon but when I'm in the gym seeing her face everytime she tries to brag and realizing she's done nothing compared to me drives me harder and makes me stay on the exercise equipment longer and longer every time. LOL

So I'll be posting in more often cause i want to keep track of this goal.. wish me luck!

Wow been a very long time!

I guess you could call it a long break or hiatus but really time's just been getting away from me over the last 4+ months. My fiance got his trucking job and there's been a fair amount of adjusting with that. {especially since he works midnights and long hours.. and is shortly going to long haul- out 5-6 days, home for 2) but it's all good.. he loves it and it's solving some income issues that were really beating us down over the past 6 months.

Let's see what else has been going on?.. oh! we're planning to move soon. So I've been busy packing and sorting through all our stuff. My fiance is a horrible pack rat so I usually sort and chuck old useless stuff when he's working lol I'm going stop it soon and get this place cleaned up to start decorating for Christmas shortly.

Crap forgot it's trash day... I'll blog again soon!

first meeting with the dietitian

She seemed nice but definitely wants me to cut down the junk food, high fat and high sugared foods. She also showed me what I should be eatting portion wise and told me I definitely need to sdd more veggies, fruit and trade off the liquid sugar drinks and find healthier alternatives (slurpees and pre-made ice tea apparently are big no nos) it's going to take some adjustments seeing how I also have to deal with Shane and his lousy taste in food (that man eats like a 5 year old most days I swear) That and she wants me to slowly reintroduce some exercise back in (she's saying slowly mostly due to the extreme heat and humidity that's been going on this summer as well as I've been not been really physically active in years) but I guess consistancy is key to winning this battle. And I'm soo ready to dump some of this weight. That and as she scanned my medical history and all the recent tests I've had done, she realized my thyroid is yet again too low and my TSH levels are really high (she tried to explain it to me how that worked but odds are I'll have to see if I can figure it out online cause it was too confusing) I don't get why the heck my dr didn't have the medical centre call me and let me know I have to get an increase on the the thyroid meds again. HMMM..figures!
She also gave me a list of healthy alternative snacks (cause sometimes I just don't feel like making and eatting a whole meal especially in this heat) I also have to start keeping a food/ exercise journal so I can be accountable. Should be interesting to say the least.